3/17/08

The Ups and Downs

So Sunday was spent doing a bit of recovering. We've all be very tired as of late and have little down time and decided that we'd take naps and or watch TV after church and lunch.
Trey napped in our room, I turned on From Here to Eternity and cuddled up on the couch while the kids watched The Lion King downstairs.
One of the problems I've noticed when the kids watch TV (or play video games) for an extended period of time is that when it comes to turn it all off the kids kind of melt down. Every. Time. I've brought this to the kids attention and it seems to make no difference. We've cut the screen time down to the weekends and still...melt down city!
Anyway, so my movie ends and Trey takes Tank to the dog park. I haven't been much of a house keeper these days so I though that I could take some dog-free time to clean up a bit. I started in the kitchen and called down to August and Hazel to tell them that when the current show ends (they'd finished the movie and moved on to Sponge Bob by now) I needed them to help with recycling and garbage. "What?" I repeated my instructions and added, "Did you hear me that time?" Pause. "YES!!"
OK, I continue wiping, and sweeping and waiting. Finally they come tumbling up the stairs with, "What do you need us to do?" I repeat that I needed them both to take care of the recycling and trash. They both grab bags and head out the front door. By this time I had started vacuuming the kitchen floor (yes, I sweep AND vacuum the kitchen floor...what? We have a dog...he sheds!) I'm way into the vacuuming when I look up and see August smiling and Hazel sobbing.
August, smiling, says, "Hey Mommy, Hazel said she HATES me!"
Now let me just say, I was so angry with August for feeling happy to be telling me this.
I looked at Hazel, who again, is sobbing, and asked if she said this terrible thing. Her response, "I *sob* can't *sob* remember *sooooooooobbbbbbbbb*!" She can't remember folks. Can't remember what she said less than a minute before, which we all know, means that she indeed said it.
I'm upset. Upset that August was happy to tell on Hazel and upset that Hazel would even dream of saying such a thing to her brother. We have been working so hard at teaching the kids that they will love each other forever. That they will be in each others lives forever and should be kind to everyone, but especially to one another.
I tell August how upset I am that he didn't talk with Hazel about it first. This is something our school puts into practice. If you are having a problem with someone you go to them first, try to problem solve, and if that doesn't work out, you may seek help from an adult.
I just knew that if August would have spoken with his sister they could have avoided this huge scene.
Hazel, by the way, is STILL sobbing. I've asked her to go to her room and start cleaning it until I could deal with her.
In the mean time I've asked August to write what happened and what should have happened. Then I went to talk to Hazel. She finally agreed that she did say that she hated August but that she doesn't really hate him. I informed her that she couldn't come out of her room until it was clean and that she had to write an apology to August and remind him that she loves him so much. And all this had to happen by the time I was out of the shower.
I then took my leave and showered the whole scene down the drain. Here's the best part:
As I stepped out of the shower I could hear August in his sister's room. They were working together to clean her pit of a room. I was so happy. There are times when I feel like we've said thing to them over and over again and that maybe they just aren't listening. But this time, I think they heard me.
Here's the note August wrote:
"I was taking trash out with Hazel and she needed help so I dicided to play around. Hazel didnt like it and said I hate you, so I told you.
What should have happened was I should have talked to Hazel about it."**
Here's the note Hazel wrote:
"I iM SORY AUGUST
I LOVE YOU" ** * then she drew a heart balloon with a smiley face.
**exactly as written

6 comments:

tania said...

i love your patience and follow through of having them write the notes to each other. and i love how they ended up helping each other clean the room. we miss you, august and hazel!

i'll call you soon, jen. xo

tapmike said...

you have just described love on so many levels

you are the best daughter, grandchildren and dogwalker there is

we love you

dad & rebecca

Jennifer said...

awwww, we love you too Mike and Rebecca...and miss you terribly!

Tania and the boys: we can't wait to hear about your trip!!

Anonymous said...

You're a terrible mother for making them turn off the TV, do chores, *AND* make them like one another. Bletch!

rachel said...

i love this story, indeed, the ups and downs. you should copy your blogs, put them into a book, and give them to your children when they are grown...

Anonymous said...

you're such a good mom Jen!