ADULT

There have been a few times in my life when I felt like a full fledged ADULT.
Getting married to Trey was not one of these events. I felt like I was playing dress up. I'm sure the fact that we were hiding our pregnancy had much to do with the feeling of playing pretend, but for the most part, that day was not a truly ADULT moment.
The birth of my children...yes...that had the feelings of ADULTness within it but there were still moments of unpreparedness mixed in with responsibility.
I joined the PTA as the arts chair last year and I'll be honest with you...I felt like an ADULT...until the second meeting...when none of the ladies recognized me...even after our children have attended the same school for 2 years and we've all already met twice...I looked like an outsider...I still feel like one after serving for 2 years (but that's another story).
I've been changing my hair for as long as I've had the freedom to do so...one month it'll be all one length and red, the next it'll have stripes and be layered. Right now it's platinum blonde and medium length. I have resisted growing up. I have resisted looking like a "mom". I have resisted being an ADULT, with responsibilities and ADULT relationships. Let's not talk about the reality of my age and how being in my mid-thirties really does make me...an ADULT.
Trey and I were invited to a Christmas party this evening. The people who invited us were friends of Trey's from high school and college. We've gone out to dinner with them a number of times and really do enjoy their company so when the evite arrived we were quick to respond with a happy "yes". Looking over the list of people attending made us quickly realize that the hosts would be the only people we knew at the party but I was sure there would be plenty of wine...and with wine comes easy conversations for me.
Upon arriving at the party I made a quick stop into the bathroom to check the lipstick and hair. To my surprise, an ADULT was looking back at me. I'm not sure if it was because it was the end of a rather long and trying week, or if my age is indeed catching up to me...but I looked old, weathered even. I paused at my reflection and studied the lines between my eyebrows, the creases on either side of my mouth and the tiredness in my eyes and I thought that maybe it might be time to grow up. To accept my time in life. To realize that it's OK to be a mother and a wife and to go out into this party full of people I don't know and probably won't run into again and talk about my kids, my role in the PTA, my job as a wife and a mother and yes...even my stinking dog. Because, you know what? I'm 35! And yes, I'm an ADULT!