Trey held a seminar at Calvin Collage a few weeks ago...you can listen to him here if you want:
http://www.calvin.edu/admin/sao/festival/2009/audio/podcast/trey-many.m4a
A Many Family Blog
Showing posts with label Christianity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christianity. Show all posts
4/23/09
3/24/08
Poison
There are days when I wake up with this feeling in my stomach. The only way I can describe it is to say that it feels Toxic. This burning, hateful feeling grows throughout the day.
I begin every school day the same, alarm goes off at 7:45 giving me 15 minutes to get myself in a bit of order before I begin the slow and painful process of waking my kids up. This is my least favorite part of the day on a good day, but on these Toxic days they can be THE WORST.
I like to leave the house by 8:50 so that the kids can have morning recess with their friends. You'd think 50 minutes or so would be plenty of time to get them moving but I'm so impatient on these days. I hear myself rushing them over and over again. Asking them to do the same things, even making them chew their food faster. At times I'm able to step back and wonder what they must think of me on these mornings. Questioning what had happened in the night to make me so grouchy first thing in the morning. The truth is that I have no idea why I get this way. I have no good reason for this poison that grows and flows through my mouth.
On our trek to school I am pulling the dog and leading the kids up the street. She complains about the sprinkling or the cold while he varies between running ahead and falling behind. The whole while I'm talking to myself, questioning how I will shed this funk. Thinking that maybe if I could just get some time to myself I would feel better. Maybe warm weather would do it. Maybe getting away from my normal day would do it...all things I can not control.
Tank and I walk around for a while so that I can feel sorry for myself but also so that I can say that I tried getting some fresh air. We get home and I start cleaning, maybe that would work the poison through my system. I work out, take Tank to the park, get a coffee...the feeling is still strong. It's an all day funk. I talk to myself through it all. Talk to God through it all. And I wait. For the Toxins to leave.
I begin every school day the same, alarm goes off at 7:45 giving me 15 minutes to get myself in a bit of order before I begin the slow and painful process of waking my kids up. This is my least favorite part of the day on a good day, but on these Toxic days they can be THE WORST.
I like to leave the house by 8:50 so that the kids can have morning recess with their friends. You'd think 50 minutes or so would be plenty of time to get them moving but I'm so impatient on these days. I hear myself rushing them over and over again. Asking them to do the same things, even making them chew their food faster. At times I'm able to step back and wonder what they must think of me on these mornings. Questioning what had happened in the night to make me so grouchy first thing in the morning. The truth is that I have no idea why I get this way. I have no good reason for this poison that grows and flows through my mouth.
On our trek to school I am pulling the dog and leading the kids up the street. She complains about the sprinkling or the cold while he varies between running ahead and falling behind. The whole while I'm talking to myself, questioning how I will shed this funk. Thinking that maybe if I could just get some time to myself I would feel better. Maybe warm weather would do it. Maybe getting away from my normal day would do it...all things I can not control.
Tank and I walk around for a while so that I can feel sorry for myself but also so that I can say that I tried getting some fresh air. We get home and I start cleaning, maybe that would work the poison through my system. I work out, take Tank to the park, get a coffee...the feeling is still strong. It's an all day funk. I talk to myself through it all. Talk to God through it all. And I wait. For the Toxins to leave.
3/18/08
WWSD?
So I'm driving the car with the kids in the back. We're just coming home from a visit to Starbucks after school (we occasionally do homework there). August and Hazel are chatting about something when I start to fade into their conversation. Hazel is talking about a project she is working on in school and August is not really interested in her silly kindergarten work right now. She asks something like, "...and do you know what color I will make it?" To which August, in his most uninterested voice says, "no and I don't want to know."
I jump into the conversation and say, "mmm, let's try that again. Hazel, ask August that question again and August, respond in a better way."
So Hazel asks the question again and August responds THE SAME! I pause and ask August if he'd like me to respond to his questions that way. "I don't know what you mean." So we role play. At the end of this session I say, "Do unto others as you'd want them to do to you." Then August says, "Let me guess, you read that on your starbucks cup right?"
Pause.
"Nope August, it's actually from the Bible..."
I jump into the conversation and say, "mmm, let's try that again. Hazel, ask August that question again and August, respond in a better way."
So Hazel asks the question again and August responds THE SAME! I pause and ask August if he'd like me to respond to his questions that way. "I don't know what you mean." So we role play. At the end of this session I say, "Do unto others as you'd want them to do to you." Then August says, "Let me guess, you read that on your starbucks cup right?"
Pause.
"Nope August, it's actually from the Bible..."
9/25/07
Connections
I grew up in the church. When we lived in Chicago we attended Addison Street Congregational Church and went to Pilgrim Lutheran School. The summer before 6th grade we moved to a suburb of Chicago and attended a Christian Missionary Alliance Church, then we moved to South Lyon, Michigan a year later and started going to to a Southern Baptist Church until we were asked to leave because we adopted a black child (but that's another story). After the Southern Baptist church we went to another Baptist church in Novi, Michigan. All this to say I know a lot of Bible stories and can still sing many, many children's church songs.
As an adult I've struggled with how I want my children to feel about church. I really want it to be something they have ownership over, I want them to want to go. I want them to have friends that they look forward to seeing. August is going through a phase lately where he just doesn't like going to Sunday school so we've suggested that he come sit with us during the service.
The first time he did it we allowed him to draw during the sermon and he did just fine. He's continued to come upstairs with us anytime his teachers aren't teaching because he doesn't like to be in a combined class.
This last Sunday Trey was playing drums during worship so I was happy to have my son next to me. The music started and we all stood up. We don't sing songs from hymnals at this church, we steer more towards the praise songs. August stood up but couldn't see the words projected on the screen so he hopped on the chair next to me. We stood just about head to head and I smiled at my big boy.
August was singing out out loud with a strong, happy voice. He read the words and sang them with passion. I leaned over toward his ear and whispered, "Do you know who you're singing to?" He looked at me wide eyed and said, "GOD!!!"
I loved to sing as a child. I loved knowing the words to every song and belting them out loud. I looked at my son and saw myself in him.
Later during the service the Pastor was talking about epic tales- Moses, Joseph, Chronicles of Narnia (at which point August starts to bounce in his chair), the pastor continues, "I don't know if anyone has ever heard of STAR WARS?" August, out loud announces, "OH, I HAVE!"
The pastor continues with his talk and August, ears open, ready to hear, ready to listen, whispers, "oh, please say something else I know."
I watched my son learn about God.
As an adult I've struggled with how I want my children to feel about church. I really want it to be something they have ownership over, I want them to want to go. I want them to have friends that they look forward to seeing. August is going through a phase lately where he just doesn't like going to Sunday school so we've suggested that he come sit with us during the service.
The first time he did it we allowed him to draw during the sermon and he did just fine. He's continued to come upstairs with us anytime his teachers aren't teaching because he doesn't like to be in a combined class.
This last Sunday Trey was playing drums during worship so I was happy to have my son next to me. The music started and we all stood up. We don't sing songs from hymnals at this church, we steer more towards the praise songs. August stood up but couldn't see the words projected on the screen so he hopped on the chair next to me. We stood just about head to head and I smiled at my big boy.
August was singing out out loud with a strong, happy voice. He read the words and sang them with passion. I leaned over toward his ear and whispered, "Do you know who you're singing to?" He looked at me wide eyed and said, "GOD!!!"
I loved to sing as a child. I loved knowing the words to every song and belting them out loud. I looked at my son and saw myself in him.
Later during the service the Pastor was talking about epic tales- Moses, Joseph, Chronicles of Narnia (at which point August starts to bounce in his chair), the pastor continues, "I don't know if anyone has ever heard of STAR WARS?" August, out loud announces, "OH, I HAVE!"
The pastor continues with his talk and August, ears open, ready to hear, ready to listen, whispers, "oh, please say something else I know."
I watched my son learn about God.
4/3/07
Easter
the bunnies are multiplying! don't be surprised if one pops up in your Easter basket...today has turned out to be a beautiful day. i opted for a long walk around greenlake this morning. it was a bit cold but the sun was pouring down and it felt good. i brought along my trusty ipod and listened to Erwin speak on his book Soul Cravings.
it was super great. he spoke of love. i've been hearing a lot about this lately. that God has asked us to love Him and to love our neighbors. not just the people i like, but everyone. i could use a little reminder to love people. the bag i've been carrying around lately says clearly, "I HATE PEOPLE". i started carrying it because, for the most part, it's true. i expect the worst from people. i've gotta work on this. as i listened to him speak i was reminded of a verse i memorized as a child, 1 John 4: 7, 8 "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love."
clear.
as.
a.
bell.
it doesn't say that if we know God we will judge and hate and exclude people. it says if we do not love people than we do not know God.
i'm constantly depressed and embarrassed by the actions of people who call themselves Christians. i've struggled for years to forge my own way within Christianity. i've even gone so far was distancing myself from those who call themselves Christians.
i'm a long way from figuring it out but i think i'm making baby steps towards how i believe God wants me to be.
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