It Could Be Worse

Ok. It could be worse. So. Much. Worse than it really is...that's the good news. I won't even call the next part the "bad news" because really, it's just scary news.
On March 6th I reached up to scratch an itch on my neck only to become aware of a lump. At first I thought it was my adams apple but quickly realized it was in the wrong place.  After the year my family has had, my mind raced to a bad place...so I called my doctor. They were able to schedule me that morning and I thought that maybe they'd just say it was an infection or something....but they didn't. Instead, they told me to get an ultra sound on it.  A few days of waiting and little sleep, mixed with nervous tears...and we get the ultra sound done. Again, I was SURE that I'd go in and they'd say it was just a swollen this or that...no big deal....but they didn't. Instead, they told me it was a 2cm nodule on the left side of my thyroid. My doctor called by the time I arrived home to tell me that he wanted a biopsy done on the nodule as soon as they could get me in...which was in one week...on a Friday.
Another week of trying to keep busy, movie watching, reality tv watching, reading books, working, trying to remain calm.  I was SO VERY SURE that Friday would arrive and I'd go in but they'd find nothing to biopsy. And I was SO VERY WRONG.
I think the crushing realization that there really was something wrong hit me at that visit. Those poor doctors and nurses.  I was a mess. I sobbed. SOBBED! Hands up to my face, tears streaming...it was ugly. Trey was sitting at the bottom of the bed holding my hand and trying to keep me calm while they stuck me FOUR times to get a good sample.
The best part was when it was all over (Trey said it only took 20 minutes...it truly felt like an hour!) and the doctor gently stated that they might have to do a second biopsy at some point and that he is going to suggest that they put me under.  Not a problem!
So that was a Friday. The results would take 3 business days. Another long, slow weekend filled with plenty of retail therapy, tv, food and tears.
Wednesday rolled around and the doctor called before 9am. He informed me that the results were suspicious. The report that was sent to me via email listed the alert as RED and had a note that said it should be removed. He was referring me to the endocrinologist who would make the final decision on what to do next. He said that they might want another biopsy or they might suggest removal.
The earliest they could get me in was this morning (3/25). I was worried.  I was worried because every appointment seemed to get worse. I was worried that the doctor wouldn't listen to me. I was worried that he'd say it was cancer.
So here's what he said...I think...cause I was pretty nervous at this appointment and I might get some stuff wrong.
He said that I should get part of my thyroid removed because they don't know what the nodule consists of. He said that the surgeon will go in and make a judgment call based on what the thyroid looks like to determine how much of the thyroid should be removed. He said something about two different kinds of worrisome cells, one looked like palm fronds and the other masks itself to look normal. They didn't know which one mine were...or something like that.
So now I wait. I wait for the surgeon to call me so we can schedule the surgery. The good news is that the doctor didn't sound like I needed to hurry this along. He said that even if it is cancer, that no one dies of thyroid cancer. He made that very clear.
The kids know what's going on. My work knows what's going on and my family knows what's going on...and now you know. As soon as the surgery is schedule I'll let you know.
But for now...I'm trying not to be so scared.