So I have been in a funk. It's been hanging around me for way too long and I just haven't been able to shake it. I've been exercising, I've been pampering myself, I've been trying to fill my days with activities...still, the funk lingers. It's really just been a bunch of me feeling sorry for myself, that an me being jealous and envious and...feeling sorry for myself. It didn't help that Trey has been traveling to super fun places these last few weekends, leaving me here to wallow in my own self pitty.
Anyway, I've had some sub jobs lined up for Friday and Monday but on this past Wednesday night I received a call from a kindergarten teacher. She needed a last minute sub for the next day because she's pregnant and her Doctor wanted her to be on bed rest. I love her class and welcomed the distraction so I took the job. What started as a one day position ended as a full time (till the end of the year) position. So, now I'm a kindergarten teacher.
When the principal asked me to take over I thought that it was a great idea. I've been the sub for this particular class all year and the kids would have a smoother transition if they had someone they knew take over. I also thought that it would snap me out of my darkness. And it's worked. All I can think about now is how I'm going to fill the days for the 26 children. How I can get them ready for 1st grade in just 6.5 weeks. And that's the other good thing about this position, I work really well with end dates. If this had happened in January I'm not sure I could take the job, but because it's so close to the end of the year I feel that it's totally manageable.
The other day I was walking the dog while listening to Erwin McManus (the pastor of my brother's church in LA). I listen to the podcast whenever I get the chance. He has this weird way of speaking about things that I'm dealing with all too often. So this particular sermon dealt with a number of things, but the thing I walked away with was that really in everything we do we should do our best. Nothing new really, I've heard it before, but with the mood I've been in I ended the podcast on a bitter note. I didn't have a "JOB", I continued to feel sorry for myself. Then all this happened. And as I was talking to my sister-in-law I realized that this was my chance to really make a difference in a group of kids lives. Let me pause here by saying that I know that working a "JOB" is not the only way I can make a difference...that I have two beautiful children to raise and I should strive to do my best for them...and I do. But like I said, I've been in a funk and I've been loosing sight of how to do that.
Now I go to work in the morning and miss my kids and am not only counting down the days till the end of this position, I'm counting down the days until I can play with August and Hazel for the summer.
And you know what else? I could are less that it's cold outside and it's MAY!!!! I don't have the time to lament the fact that the sun has barely shown it's glorious face as of late cause I'm too busy trying to find lesson plans!
So, that's that. Like so many of my friends out there in blogging land, I'm working now, full time, and trying to keep things together on the home front...but it's all good. And I feel the fog lifting.
A Many Family Blog